Monday, October 24, 2011

Shades of Grey

According to the wise, only two things in life are real -- one is black and white being the other. These two gauge what is exclusively a right and what is a wrong, what is a yes and what is a no. They are perfect instruments to weigh on objects, people, and deeds, and judging differentiates one from another. They help assess the value of something by tagging it with either of the two extremes and no middle ground.

However, black and white alone make no sense, sometimes. If someone asks you for an opinion, sometimes we have to bypass a straight answer for a less obvious one. We become our own moderators where mitigation creeps in because we want to keep the better of the relationship while sounding rational and honest. A filtered response seesaws in our thinking before we shoot it out in order to be more careful with the person’s feelings. That in a sense is just being a person sensitive enough for the feelings of others.

Great are those who can speak their minds with no holds barred. They speak that way because they know what they are doing, are knowledgeable and truly gifted communicators. The highly opinionated would only tell you whether it is black or white and no grey areas. But it is beside the point if you’re being self-centered. Egocentricity is manifested in so many ways, and let me point out one way in the context of the topic. It happens when you fail to check the people around you because you’re so full of yourself and the lack of sensitivity is astounding, blurting out what’s always on your mind for your own good. All you could think about is saving yourself from the sinking boat first, and yes, probably, you care for others but just using the wrong means, which would be easily misunderstood. The worst is when you tell everyone that it is just the way you are ever since, and that you deserve to be understood. Point well-taken, but have you tried improving yourself lately, and until when will you be deadpan? Have you, after all these times, asked yourself whether you said something enough to be hurtful? Being hurt and hurting someone is a good thing only for the good reasons.

It is high time to re-evaluate, re-examine, and open that window to your soul you probably for long refused to see. You need to see it for yourself. A change of heart will help you do it, and that shades of grey sometimes deserve some recognition after all.

Image: Woodlands Waterfront Park, Singapore


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