I just don’t know what love really is. It is for me inexplicable and having a hard time in place (right here). Unsettling that is. I have been through a lot -- heartbreaks, tear jerking moments, seriously rough circumstances, even pitiful situations, name it, I’ve been there.
When I loved someone, I would subconsciously levitate myself reaching cloud 9 and become a freak trying to make special out of something ordinary. But all the while, I realized, things were falling apart I warped myself to sick atmosphere, and the reasons were either valid or just plain complicated that needed no logic. I think I’m just tired that I can love nobody right now. I’m growing sick weary, fatigued that I need to go to places that accommodate whatever is left of my content side. They say it’s not healthy when you’re uninspired. Probably they’re right, but I say in defense, they only know just one way and no other way.
When I loved someone, I would subconsciously levitate myself reaching cloud 9 and become a freak trying to make special out of something ordinary. But all the while, I realized, things were falling apart I warped myself to sick atmosphere, and the reasons were either valid or just plain complicated that needed no logic. I think I’m just tired that I can love nobody right now. I’m growing sick weary, fatigued that I need to go to places that accommodate whatever is left of my content side. They say it’s not healthy when you’re uninspired. Probably they’re right, but I say in defense, they only know just one way and no other way.
My main thrust towards living now is family. That is where I draw happiness from. When things go in place through God’s help, that will be the time to fix my personal happiness, which has been pushed back since priorities became clearer.
Image: MacArthur Park, Palo, Leyte, Philippines
Image: MacArthur Park, Palo, Leyte, Philippines
Relationships will come and go but family will always be there. And when you're not looking for love, you'll find it... in the strangest places, too.
ReplyDelete@Jasmine: That pretty much adds more color to love. Aw, I'm again sounding a hopeless romantic here. Ha ha! Thanks! :)
ReplyDeleteHaha, no problem! I will say, I've been with my boyfriend for about 5 1/2 years now. I wasn't looking for a relationship when I met him, I was 15. And how we met is a long, random story. But I couldn't picture my life any other way.
ReplyDeleteWow must be your first love, right? And you're still together. 5 1/2 years? That diminishes my past relationships! Ha ha! I'm just happy for you two Jasmine. :)
ReplyDeleteI love reading this post. And there is nothing wrong of being hopeless romantic Joemill, hehe. :)Being single is a blessing in disguise. In fact, I enjoy being one. Hopefully, you will find your match in God's time. :)
ReplyDelete@Cindy: I know! I guess I'm just afraid of being called too much of it. Ha ha! True, I get to go to places without asking permission from and think less when I'm wandering around. Thank you Cindy. I appreciate that. :) Hey, right back at you. :)
ReplyDeleteLove is more complicated than it seems. Personal happiness is another thing.
ReplyDeleteLove yourself as you love others. Happiness will follow eventually. ;)
@peenkfrik: I guess personal happiness depends from person to person. We define it based on what makes it complete. In my case, love is part of the package. Ha ha! Love your last 2 statements. Thanks Kim! :)
ReplyDeleteYou must be happy with yourself and then you'll find happiness all around you! Family is LOVE unconditionally and family is probably what you need now! Big hug!
ReplyDeleteYou poor soul, take a break from love for a while or just take a walk and return to love again. Love can be complicated at times but they can be quite simple too. But don't ever give up loving. Decide first as to what you're looking for and seek out your desired love. If you fall along the way, get up and seek again your true & long lasting love. A good advice, be a bit practical and there's no such thing as a perfect love, choose a simple one and build on that.
ReplyDelete@...daisy...: That's exactly what I need now, my family. Thanks for the advice! And for the hug, it was huge! :)
ReplyDelete@theBluesman: Maybe I was just being too unrealistic. I was in a sense, living in a fantasy that's why I was attracting too much drama. This time, I have to pay attention more to the simplicity around and start from there. Thank you Sir!
ReplyDelete"tear jerking moments, seriously rough circumstances, even pitiful situations" kong sa bisaya pa nag-ulan ug nagluhod sa baha nga nag- abot ang luha, laway ug sipon.
ReplyDelete