Losing Balance

Reflections always prove perfect when put in writing, and the now is just it. Right away.

I have been in constant search for what to do going forward. I have been away from home for more than half a year now, but I question what’s currently running in my life engine, and the next step is a blur. It’s quite a young time for me to be feeling this way, as the urgency of moving, up or down, whichever is lucrative, or simply finding my dancing feet is on the rise. Be it my day job, long-term goal, whatever that is, or just life itself succumbs me into deep thinking. Change please. I want to live with that change or its plurality, and it’s getting scarier everyday to just think of giving up on something further established, shaking up to its foundations to make way for a not so unfamiliar path that you have been shrugging off the whole years of your lifetime for a seeming bright future.

Oh, how the society can dictate one’s decision for a lifetime of unhappiness, a lesser term for misery, is corruption per se. They invade the natural flow of one’s mind in order to box you in the so-called natural world. You have to be this and that because the society towers over you and you better be good at what gives you all those laudations, comfort, sense of pride, and stability. Isn't it tiring to stress yourself beyond what should be your own life? Is this the life you have imagined since you have learned that personal dreams can navigate you to places? How can you neglect pursuing your personal happiness?

OK, you've been reading lots of you’s when it’s supposed to be a bunch of I’s. Anyway, I just need a breather to gradually filter out the sham intent from the very beginning. It has to be as transient as it should be as I’m nearing 30. It’s working for me now and sure keeps my personal balance, but for the love of what life should be, decisions have to be made and undaunted while sticking to my heart.

Photo source credit: Dreamstime

Newbie Raises the Red Flag

All that’s new ends up at the pile of your fancies. More realistically, not every single thing can tickle the funny bone. Feeling just one bit of it or merely looking at it, you can tell right off the bat that you would be a follower of this little new thing, addressing you to be its slave in either good or bad ways and the inception of the term newbie defaults as a tap on your shoulder. You are now a self-styled newbie trying to crack the fancy.

The best way to comprehension of what you’re up to as a newbie is to acknowledge it. It’s never easy if pride gets in the way. Pride is itself a mental block that borders between self-deception and in-depth exploration of your own circumstance. Let the personal tag called newbie fall until it pours on you.

By then, time becomes your unfailing enemy. You are in this new pace that’s keeping you trying equalizing the predictable normal and the novel path you choose to tread, sending you to discomfort zone. Having things sorted out of your own accord, takes a great deal of figuring out and acting upon the steps to your goals. The growing curiosity behind it fattens up nothing but your being closer to your conscious resolve. If only you had the magic hands, time would be non-existent, and wishes would be a doorstep away. Not going through a journey to get that friggin’ pot of gold is nonetheless less magical.

Uh-oh, the poor soul is crossing the gorge on a thin line. Raising the red flag happens when you think you are in a gridlock. And all you could do is to thank those who are willing to extend their helping hand to get you there safely, but no thanks to those who wish you ill.

Ah, it’s hard to rest heavy thinking for awhile as it might ruin the momentum. Thinking you are tired takes you to boredom.

Who is nuts over ice candy when there is ice cream? Now, your answer might be just your so-called well-deserved break. The newbie needs it too.

Live, Laugh, Love (It's Christmastime)

LIVE. Because one’s arrival is no accident. I have to remind myself all the time of my purpose in this foreign land. I am working my ass off here to fill in the gap described as poor man’s destiny. I have to live as I ought to live – stay healthy, frame my mind rightly, and keep homesickness at bay (Ugh, it sucks when homesickness takes over).

LAUGH. Because happiness is majorly a choice. The current circumstances of being miles and miles away from home don’t deserve to make me any less happier. I have to forget that I am celebrating Christmas differently this time. I may not be with my real family on Christmas Eve, but I am with old and new friends anyway, who themselves have the same degree of wishful thinking. It is not the easiest to tell myself that, though, but knowing who I am with on this very special day is more than enough reason to smile, which is infectious per se, making me laugh at the simplest to the silliest of things.

LOVE. Because thriving in hate is an everyday time bomb. Most of the time, if not always, you subconsciously become what you hate; and for that, you are unlikely being congratulated, which makes you hate yourself in the end. I might dislike something or someone for that matter, but at the end of the day, I let it pass for what it is worth. I just have to. I can’t afford to let it waste my time sulking in for something which is way beyond my control, thinking that I can turn the tides the next day. Moving on is the only way to see the brighter side of things. I just want to spread my arms loving all there is in life. Life is so beautiful, let the Zen radiate in me.

Merry Christmas!

P.S. I am writing because I am inspired by Takashimaya’s (Singapore shopping mall) “Live Laugh Love” Christmas bears. They have a meaningful message for everyone.

Image: Orchard, Singapore

Go Fly Kite (Uniquely Singapore)

We were strolling around Clarke Quay when we saw a multi-lighted debris spiraling down the ground. That easily magnetized our attention, drawing us closer to what had just fallen, a falling star it could be.

Following what seemed to be a falling star (nah, just exaggerating) led us to a feast of lights, buzzes, and science in Riverside Point, just right across Clarke Quay. On the ground and in the skyline, there were a number of modern kites called GFK kites (Go Fly Kite), which are motor-driven and remote-controlled. So enjoyable to watch were the flying machines we had to spend the rest of the hours that night watching such a great show. It made a great nightlife. There were kids, men, and women who comprised the group in the show.

The show was orchestrated and organized by the owner of Go Fly Kite, Mr. Michael Lim. This one-of-a-kind kite is his own innovation.

"The Show"

GFK kites

Mr. Michael Lim in action

IMAX charger. Laser lights. One cell batteries. Tool box. Transformer.

Remote control

Go Fly Kite shop

Sardine-like Congestion

Sardines. Sardinas. The food of the masses that is only second to my all-time favorite pancit canton. I just miss it! Be it 555, Ligo, Mega, or Señorita, sardines in tomato sauce are the best -- pocket-friendly, easy to cook (I’m reminded of my experiments with it. Ha ha!), and great for one’s health. Tomato is an anti-carcinogen, and sardines have nutrients essential for protecting one’s heart. It’s worth-mentioning here Spanish sardines as well, especially those from Zamboanga, which are equally tasty, though more expensive.

Singapore MRT

OK, this post isn’t about my longing for Filipino food. Hmm, my weekday mornings have actually taken over me now! Walking to the train station for about 6 minutes, queuing, and waiting for 2-6 minutes are part of my daily routine. As the train door opens, I am usually, if not always, greeted with a sardine-like congestion. Jurong East Interchange is a fine example. You can’t help but gush about the crowd. It seems impossible to get in. Oh well, just find a space meant for standing, shrink yourself to maximize the train’s capacity and for anybody’s sake, and the train is off speeding its way. Standing for 1 hour is worst.

A common sight in remote areas

The Filipino commuting scene is more subtle. Jeepneys are designed for maximum profit and not for comfort. The aisle and the back portion never fail to generate extra money. So long as the driver or conductor sees a passenger desperate to get home, an extra seat in the aisle is always ready for seating. And so long as the jeepney is with rear grab rail or even just a step board, guy passengers don’t mind hanging off the back at their own risk. And did I forget the top? It’s also an asset to the money making machine, too. The driver or conductor is as busy as a bee, always on the prowl for prospect passengers where money only matters.

By the way, I don't mean all jeepneys are true to what I have described here, but the majority.

Photo source credit: filgifts.com